an opinion

Two gay penguins have been split up in a Toronto zoo. The gay penguins are gay because they nest together, groom each other and show general man-to-man penguin affections. Their species is in danger and they have been broken up in an attempt to get them to mate with females. My problem with this story is that the penguins don’t have sex. I wouldn’t consider a species to be gay unless they have sex regularly and mate for life. Otherwise, it’s merely a form of social interaction. Its encouraged a debate about homophobia and how homosexuality should be accepted as a natural part of the universe. This entire argument is based on a lie. So stop wasting my time with stories about two guys that are just good flat mates who might catch the odd west end show.

Speaking of much ado about nothing, the Frozen Planet on the BBC has been denounced as a fake after it emerged through information readily available on its website that one scene was shot in a Dutch animal park. The scene of the polar bears is a close-up of cubs nestling together with their mother. If you tried to film this touching scene in the wild you would be left with a bloody stain on the ice and camera equipment floating in the Arctic Ocean. I don’t fancy hearing Attenborough narrating When Animals Attack. On second thought, it would be quite amusing for five minutes or so. A politician has stated, after no doubt being phoned by some newsroom lackey or pulled up whilst walking to an important meeting, that this is a “disappointing development as the BBC shouldn’t mislead the public.” Why don’t they just put in an asterisk while the credits roll stating which scene wasn’t filmed in the wild. I don’t think the viewer would mind. If anything it would give an insight into the behaviour of the animals. It only takes a little common sense. I’m actually slightly offended that this was the lead story on the sandwich board outside the newsagents yesterday. And now I’ve spent 15 minutes writing about it, for shame!

Canada has pulled out of the Kyoto agreement because it wants to increase its oil production. Apparently the liberal behaviour of the government beforehand means it now costs the average Canadian family $1,600 to be part of the Kyoto agreement. That’s a holiday to Europe for every family out the window then. Maybe they could travel to Alaska when the ice caps have melted and re-create the beaches of the Mediterranean after Benidorm has turned into a blast furnace useful for finding God particles or whatever. China is wagging the finger at them and Canada should see itself as world leader when it comes to this kind of thing. They are well educated. They have a modern society. I struggle to understand why one country won’t take some responsibility on this and set a standard that shames the rest of the world. Canada can afford it, no-one wants to attack you do they? The US would rescue you if need be. So why not give it a go? I’m sure they are many counter arguments being lined up, but it would at least give the rest of the world some hope and perhaps raise a smile if they were to read a story about a large nation making great strides towards being adults.

*The US and China are not part of the Kyoto agreement

Jewellery From Fantasia

It has only been five short months since Simon Bagley started his Jewellery business “Jewellery from Fantasia” and already his products are a massive hit. His small business is growing fast and is sure to have a bright future with his eye catching costume jewellery and simple delicate designs already selling fast. I had the chance to catch up with him at the James Watt College Kilwinning Campus Christmas fair.

While setting up his stall, Simon confided in me that his business all started from boredom, from this boredom he came up with the idea to start making jewellery with the thought of earning a little extra cash while enjoying this unusual hobby of making beautiful necklaces, bracelets and pendants.

Sourcing his pendants, chains and charms from all over the world, Simon brings together the best of Australia, China and Japan to custom make his jewellery to order meaning his customers get the best possible quality of product that suites their personal taste. The result being that even before he has finished setting up his stall customers were surrounding him making sure they got some of his one off samples before anyone else.

“My personal favourites are my spider items” he smiles showing me two stunning gold and blue crystal encrusted arachnids, then producing one gothic black Swarovski crystal covered spider. These gorgeous pieces are one of his best sellers and really make the wearer stand out from the crowd.

But as well as selling his goods Simon was offering the chance to win some charming examples of his work through a raffle with first prize being one of the most popular items at his stall; a complete set of seven miniature Harry Potter books on silver chains. These intriguing little necklaces drew many Potter fanatics to the stall as well as those who weren’t.  He was also offering the second prize-winner a replica of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” necklace, with third prize being a beautiful copy of the Titanic necklace.

Looking around his stall you can see that the business has a great future as students are left in awe over the amazing jewellery they can get at such an amazing price. Simon is expanding his business rapidly with the starting up of his own website (http://www.jewelleryfromfantasia.co.uk/) and can be found on facebook by searching Jewlleryfrom Fantasia and his ambitions don’t stop there. Eventually Simon plans to open his own shop in Kilwinning, “It would be something new for the town and would really give me a chance to show off my work”. Also he is hoping to start making his own jewellery from scratch instead of buying in the parts and making them up, “I’d love to have my own kiln one day, melt down metal, create design and add my own jewels” a brilliant chance to let his creativity to shine.

By Robyn Mitchell

“Balls out” Brilliance

Tears still streaming down our faces and our stomachs hurting from laughing my friend and I left Edinburgh Festival Theatre knowing that would be a performance we would never forget.

Danny Bhoy is an Edinburgh born comedian that has never failed to have me crying with laughter yet surprisingly not many people I talk to have heard of him.  Since his first gig in the Edinburgh Fringe in 2001 Danny has been selling out theatres all over the world from Edinburgh to Sydney to Vancouver.  His mixture of storytelling and quick wit make for a fun packed performance full of surprises and great laughs. Returning to his home town this February the young comedian was excited to be filming for his first DVD to be released in November 2012. Naturally sitting in an audience surrounded by cameras you don’t want to embarrass yourself so try and laugh in as refined a manner as possible, but this is not an easy task when this spectacular comedian has you doubled over in fits of hysterical laughter.

As soon as word of his upcoming gig was announced my friend (Jack) and myself booked up to go to Edinburgh to see this special performance. We would be part of history attending his first ever filmed performance. Seated five rows from the front the tension started to grow as the lights dimmed and I couldn’t believe I was actually there as Danny Bhoy bounded out onto the stage in front of us, the crowd roared and we couldn’t quite contain our excitement.

His performance seemed natural and effortless, starting a story he would get distracted, preoccupied he would talk and joke on about something else and return to subject with laughs erupting from the audience the entire time. But you can’t fault the Scots wit, he takes fairly mundane every day events and turns them into cheer-worthy jokes and even when stating the obvious his charm and enthusiasm had us all howling with laughter while nodding in agreement.

Making use of the whole stage Danny would bound around acting out scenes, dancing and even singing away to the delight of his audience, finding humour is the simplest of things from holiday souvenirs to the making of tea and coffee, his jokes would be recurring and interlinking bringing back simple phrases from the first half to add extra laughs into a story after the interval. Completely forgetting the cameras were there during his last ten minute outburst the audience found themselves doubled over, gasping for air, and wiping away their tears simply over Danny’s take on a Traditional Scottish Ceilidh, an event I never though could be so amusing.

As I wiped away those tears of laughter, glad I had chosen to wear waterproof mascara, I vowed that as soon as I got home I would be booking tickets to his next performance, and that is exactly what I did. His charm, wit and enthusiasm made for a faultless performance, and “balls out guys” it is a night I will never forget (But I guess to understand that joke you will have to buy the DVD).

Danny Bhoy’s DVD out November 2012.

Details of his Wanderlust Tour available on his website:

http://www.dannybhoy.com/tour-dates/2012-tour-dates/

Writer: Robyn Mitchell